Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
