Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You ate ashes out of my bong
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
