May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
