I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
