Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
