I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
