He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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