I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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