Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You are the jesus of drinking
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
