I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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