is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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