at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
you didnt know i had herpes?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
