Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
false alarm, still single
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
