The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
