I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
