I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
