That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
