? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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