hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
