I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Text me some of your sweat
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
