god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
