Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize