yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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