Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
