so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize
