girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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