Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
