need another drink. this is the easiest way
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
