I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
