Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
