i just google imaged poop.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
