just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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