My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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