I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I didn't notice because vodka
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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