That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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