3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
