last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Randomize
