my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
