I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
