As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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