Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
