escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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