I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize