problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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