i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
