You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
