I want to make a zoo with you.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
