I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I'm always down for nudity.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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