just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I smell stomach acid.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
