WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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