Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
