and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
