My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
