I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
