i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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