Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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