wanna go halves on a baby?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
