My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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