what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
