who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
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