ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Sponge bath it is.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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