i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
