i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
