sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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