another moral hangover. fuck.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
